"J"

"J" walked into the office as sheepishly as a gruff, overweight forty plus man could.

He has been in the habit of venturing in my office every now and then. The last time it was to remind that his birthday was the following day. He used to sequester himself in the corner of our center with his girlfriend – barely coming in. Occasionally he would enter the kitchen around meal time. I think I broke the ice by asking him to help me put the tables up. After that we formed a sort of jovial friendship.

But tonight he asked if he could speak to me. When we walked into my office he shut the door. I knew it was going to be bad. We hadn’t seen him, his girlfriend or her two boys all week and there wasn’t much of an explanation. He asked me for money – he skirted around the issue a bit – they needed to be out of the hotel they were staying at by tomorrow and his girlfriend was going to get paid and he had a doctor’s appointment at 8:40 – but $57 would solve all of these variables.

I really wanted to give it to him. I wanted to believe that all of the complications would be reduced by this little bit of money that he would of course pay back tomorrow.

But I didn’t give him the money. I listened to the whole scenario he had painted, all the while trying to figure out what to say. He broke down the back story some more. It seems that his girlfriend and the boys got kicked out of the shelter they had been staying at because of hygiene issues – whatever that meant. "J" was staying with his sister, but since the eviction they were all staying in a hotel somewhere near the airport. They didn’t have the money to pay the next night’s rate but would get it in the afternoon when his girlfriend got paid. Meanwhile they would have to take out all of their belongings, only to move back in after four when she would have enough cash to pay.

In the end I told him my hands were tied and I wasn’t allowed to give people in the program money. He wasn’t upset. He genuinely seemed to understand. We went over how fraught with problems this scenario was for them – the nightly rent over the course of the month would be more than their income. It was more than my rent for a two bedroom apartment. He recognized that it wasn’t a good solution and I gave him an application for transitional housing at midnight mission, which he seemed hopeful about.

I believe he really was swallowing his pride to come in and ask me for money in the way that he did. I felt so helpless. This situation pointed out that there often is very little that we can do. I knew a few months ago that their situation was temporary but he and his girlfriend seemed to have a plan. She could have stayed in Union Rescue Mission. She could have been applying for Section 8. She could have been doing so many things to not be in this scenario.

All I can do is listen and point. I can’t put paperwork through. I can’t file their Section 8. I am completely helpless.

JH